Have you ever sat next to someone in church who was really bad at singing. Really bad and overwhelmingly loud?
Try as you may to focus, to worship, to tell yourself that all voices are a sweet aroma to Lord… all you can think about is how bad it is. You recognize within yourself the judgment, condemnation, and disgust….your inability to move past another’s lack of earthly talent to see the bigger picture. It’s disappointing.
It happens all the time though.
We have the tendency to allow the external to affect our hearts. Maybe it’s a bad worship team leading the congregation in music and all you can focus on is the tone-deaf harmonizer or the drummer with a lack of rhythm. Sometimes we allow the preacher’s monotone voice or incessant use of the word ‘um’ to dictate whether he had anything worth saying. Sometimes we let appearances sway our opinions of people–sometimes even out of our own insecurities (have you ever thought the super good-looking youth intern had no depth simply because you felt threatened by him or her)?
The even crazier part is that sometimes I think that Scripture is only applicable to me…and I forget that it’s also for the person next to me. Sometimes I think I’m the only one being refined and sanctified.
I got slapped in the face last night as I was reminded that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6)…and then I immediately realized that promise isn’t intended just for me.
He who began a work in you will also bring it to completion.
He who began a work in the bad singer next to me, the stuttering preacher, the un-rhythmic drummer, the good-looking intern, the un-talented (or “too” talented) sinners of the world… and He will also bring it to completion for all of them. What grace has been extended to me has also be extended to them, no matter how unbearable it seems.
In these moments, I’m reminded of my humanity. In these moments, I’m staring at myself wondering just how I ever thought I deserved any grace at all (because, sometimes, I still can convince myself that I do). In these moments, all I can do is fall flat on my face in my own depravity, fully aware of my need for a Savior.
Lord, save me from me.
Because, as much as a I try… I can’t seem to escape the thoughts about others that distract, that kill, that steal, that destroy. The thoughts that bring destruction to the heart because I’m so consumed by what I hear, see, feel, taste and smell. I’m so consumed with the temporary, with the external, with the things that don’t matter because I’ve stopped looking for the heart behind it. And, on the rare occasion that I try to do that, I usually only allow room for judgment and condemnation to cloud my vision.
Lord, forgive me…for I know not what I do.
His grace is sufficient.
Every time.
He picks me back up again and reminds me of His truth. I am being refined, sanctified….the good work in me will be brought to completion in Jesus Christ… as it will for many others. His promises extend past me, and I’m glad that they do.
I am humbled.
Each day, I am humbled.
Brought through the valley of darkness and reminded, yet again, that Jesus saves…that He is light. In His strength, I am made perfect…and so are others.
It is a sweet aroma to His ears.
He sees the heart.
He changes the heart.
It’s only He who can.
Might we invite Him to do so?