When COVID hit and we lost our jobs, the timing had been perfectly lined up with a group of us (living in three different states) starting to incorporate new habits into our lives. If you’ve followed my journey, you may remember reading about this.
Our lives had been truly turned upside down and it was one of the simultaneously most magical and saddest seasons. But we had been given the luxury of time and space to insert a new way of life and we didn’t want to waste it. It’s been over three and a half years since all of that transpired.
And while some of the habits stuck, not all of them did. Busyness picks up and becomes an excuse for most things.
Margins get smaller.
Days, weeks, months go by and you’re oblivious to the fact that you’re mostly on autopilot. Things (or people) demand your attention. And you pay attention to whatever is loudest. How time is spent feels less like a choice, and more like a list of “have-tos”. Waking hours are but a flash of obligations and survival. Sometimes your coping mechanisms doing more harm than you realize.
I’ve recently picked up another book on habits. Same author, new book. There are a million books on habits. Tons of information about why the rhythms are critical, how they form and shape us, and ideas for implementation. I think I’ve gravitated toward Justin Whitmel Earley’s because they seem plausible to replicate.
I’ve also been challenged in the last year to not go it alone. But, instead, to bring others along for the journey. It may be slower, more tedious, more painful, more heartbreaking… but perhaps more beautiful and more whole. I had gained a sort of independence in my spiritual journey, often fooling myself into thinking that I don’t actually need others.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
About a year ago, I was patting myself on the back for all I had accomplished. I felt like I had established and kept many of the healthy habits that we had begun during COVID – habits that were reminding me of and re-centering me back on the Lord. But as I looked around me, I knew was pretty alone in that. I hadn’t really brought others in for the journey. Maybe in the beginning, but then I just took off running not overly concerned with what everyone else was doing or not doing. I couldn’t make them do anything, you know?
And as I told my husband about all my epiphanies and a deeper longing for community (doing the running WITH others, even if it was hard and would mean I might need to slow down), he just stared at me. He eventually said something that I now regurgitate as something along the lines of, “Debbie! I’m RIGHT HERE. You’re talking about wanting all of these things with all of these people, but I’m right here. Start with me!”
Here was my husband, wanting me to include him on the habits, lifestyles, and conversations that recenter us back on Jesus. My husband, asking me to be gracious with him when he isn’t perfect at it.
Oh.
And so I’ve been learning the art of slowing down, in a new sort of way. Of trusting intentions over output. Of recognizing my strengths of discipline and consistency might be necessary to combine with another’s of passion and wisdom. That a daily walk with another in prayer might be just as “spiritual” as a walk alone.
As I pull out a new book, filled with new suggestions for habits to implement in our household, it’s definitely one that I cannot do alone. And while I read alongside a few other women, and while I share the musings and desired implementations with Kel… I will also share with you.
Because we aren’t meant to do life alone.
Get Ready
And join the fun with me, if you’d like! I’ll probably throw in other habits that aren’t in the book, especially with the start of Advent. But, the goal is always the same: creating life around habits, in community, that remind and recenter us back on the One who is sovereign over all.