These days, there’s a common thread that weaves its way in and out of conversations.
“DEBBIE! YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED SO SOON”
I know.
I know.
Holy cow.
In 50 days, I’ll be making one of the biggest life-commitments there is. In the midst of all the other wedding stuff going on, I recognize that it can seem pretty insignificant. Just another wedding. But, as time draws closer and as the busyness of summer camp wanes… there it is. The reality of sharing everything in my life with another human being.
While I don’t know the half of what that actually entails, I’m pretty excited. The last few months of no longer being long distance (and even working side-by-side) has allowed us ample opportunity to frustrate and annoy each other, and push to love each other through it all. And, at the end of every day, I’m still just thankful. Thankful that I had to wait for him. Thankful that the Lord spared me from all other relationships so that this time could come. Thankful that it can actually be this good. I had no idea that my seemingly unrealistic hopes could actually be exceeded.
People are excited for me.
Sometimes, I think, more than other people. I think it’s because I’m ‘old’. Everyone else getting married is 5-10 years younger than me (including my fiance). Sometimes I feel like a beacon of hope for many single women out there. If it can finally happen for Debbie… maybe it’ll happen for me. And oftentimes, I feel like there’s still a… but I hope it happens for me sooner than 30!
I get that.
I hoped for that, too (over and over again).
But I’m so glad it didn’t work out like that.
Even with all the lonely nights, the tears that were shed, the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the endless attempts to kill every longing in me that hoped for a lasting, God-glorifying relationship…
It was always better this way. I just didn’t know it yet.
In fact, I feel like I was given something that a lot of people who get married younger don’t always get. Something that I would have never chosen for myself, but something that I now cherish.
Time.
Time to figure out who I am and who I want to be.
Time to figure out what I want in life, what my passions are, what it looks like to follow my dreams.
Time to do the things I want to do, without having to worry about someone else(s) or financial stresses. Time to travel. Time to go to back to school and then leave school spontaneously.
I love that I’ve gotten to see and do great things. I love that I had a chance to become a better version of myself before I entered into this crazy, lifelong covenant. I love that I’ve had to learn, grow, push through the periods of wanting and not getting….seeking to choose Jesus through it all. I love that my identity is rooted in something beyond the man I’m marrying.
And not that getting married younger is bad or wrong or that you can’t learn all this stuff while being married, I’m just thankful that it wasn’t the plan the Lord had for me. I’m thankful for what I got to have during that time of singleness.
Cherish the time.
Cherish the moments.
Cherish the friendships you have because your single (because, you have them–whether you want to admit it or not).
Cherish who you are becoming.
Live boldly, freely, spontaneously, unexpectedly.
Seize opportunities.
Choose integrity and obedience, seek to become more like Jesus in all things, hold yourself to a higher standard.
Dream big, follow passions, dabble in the open door of possibilities.
Don’t feel limited in your singleness.
Don’t feel stuck.
Don’t resent it.
It’s good.
It’s a blessing.
For this time, in this season… ask the Lord to show you how to embrace the fullness of it. And trust that He’s got the rest under control. Trust that it truly will happen unexpectedly, but better than you could have dreamed. Trust that He is a good and faithful God.
I want that for you.
While you can’t always see the big picture, I want you to walk into it faithfully. I want you to keep hoping. Keep dreaming. Keep laughing.
Because life is good.
And even if you’re 25, 30, 45, 60, 73… single, waiting, hoping…
Cherish the time that you have.
Where you’re at, as long as you’re seeking to follow the Lord wholeheartedly, is exactly where you need to be- no matter your circumstances.
Find the joy.