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Someone left an anonymous note on my desk yesterday: Hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

It’s been a week full of heightened emotions, spiritual realizations, late nights and lots of laughter. It’s been a week where a bunch of strangers come together, united through one thing, and they learn to get along because they have the same mission in mind. It’s been intense… but it’s been so good.

It’s made me wonder how good I’ve become at leading others through things without going through them myself. As my summer staff has sifted through some big questions and had life-altering realizations…I’ve remained emotionally and spiritually unaffected.

How can that be?

But it makes me think that in a position of leadership, you’re not always afforded the time or the energy to not only process how to better lead a group, but what’s really going on with you internally. In fact, I wonder how many of us can use leadership as escape mechanism. I know I have.

Honestly, it’s probably not exclusive to just leadership… it’s probably inclusive of anything that takes up our time. Busyness becomes an excuse for not processing through emotions, not spending time with Jesus, not spending time in true community.

What are you spending the majority if your time on?
Is it work?
School?
Athletics?

What are you using as a deterrent so you don’t actually have to examine where your heart is? So you don’t have to deal with things that may be hard for you to sift through?

And while you may really have to do all of those things, at what point do we not let it be an excuse for not taking the time or spending the energy on examining where we are really at in the midst of things? I guess the danger lies in the fact that I feel like I can go for long spells where I pour out, where I extend myself, where I work long hours, where I am able to do all the things I’m ‘supposed’ to do… but I actually have no idea how I’m really doing. And when I don’t know how I’m really doing, I live in such a way that is numb or destructive to myself and others.

Think about it.

Making time to know where we’re really at is important… and even as I write these words, I realize that I’ve failed drastically at this. I fear that if I make time, I might crumble under the weight of what lies below the surface… and so I avoid.

But, I need to go there.
Because I don’t want to be numb. I don’t want to be destroying myself and relationships around me.

It’s time to make more time for examination.

What about you?

I had a friend recently tell me how annoyed she gets by guys deciding that they want a wife and then going out to find the girl who will fit that mold….instead of meeting a girl and deciding that she’s what they want.

I see her point, but I’d have to say that girls have the tendency to do the same thing. We’re all kind of in the same boat here. The difference is that girls, oftentimes, don’t feel as much liberty to go pursuing romantic relationships because we’ve been told to be patient and wait for ‘that guy’ to come around.

I do wonder how much of it’s true though.
How many guys do decide, ‘Hey, I think I could see myself getting married soon….and this is the kind of girl that I want.’ and then they set out to find a girl that matches all of their criteria? I feel like I’ve known a few to think the opposite. They think they’ll probably never get married and are quite content to remain single, but then they meet someone who shatters that vision for their lives.

Mostly, all of this makes me wonder how detrimental planning can be. I know to some degree we have to… but don’t you always feel like anytime you actually make a plan, something goes awry? Don’t you always feel like the more you expect something to go a certain way, the more it goes the opposite of that? At times I feel like I almost bank on that to be the case.

Regardless, this isn’t a subject I can elaborate on much more…since I’m not a guy. Although, I remember always wishing it were different. I remember always wishing that the guys I were friends with would wake up and see that the girl they were in search of wasn’t necessarily what they might need in a life mate. I remember wishing that they could see me as compatible, even if I didn’t necessarily fit their mold.

And it makes me wonder how many guys feel the same way about certain girls- how many guys think that they’re just not enough to be considered for our checklist of the ‘perfect guy’. So maybe we’re all just longing to be noticed by someone else in a way that takes us out of the realm of friendship. And it makes me wonder what are the things that allow us to move into a world of romance and intimacy with someone else.

What is it for you?
Could what you’re looking for be right in front of your face? Could it be your best friend? Could it be a casual acquaintance you haven’t looked at twice because of some dumb, untrue rumor you heard about them?

I don’t know.
I just think that sometimes we miss out on some of the best things…. on some of the best people…simply because they aren’t packaged in the way that we wanted or expected. I can’t help but hope that we would all be willing to open our eyes and allow something different to be a possibility. To allow our plans… and even our ideals… to be different.

I’m not saying forget about standards and things that really matter… but I am saying that oftentimes those things look incredibly different than we think they might.

Open your eyes.
Are you looking for someone who may not even exist, when something great is already right before you?  When that something great might even be perfect for you?

I’ve been working with a group this week and one of the girls keeps saying, ‘Oh God…’ in regard to almost everything.

Her leader’s response is typically, ‘Oh, I didn’t realize we were praying!’ Sometimes the leader will go so far as to get her student to pray in these moments. I honestly think it’s a good exercise and have been appreciative of it.

I don’t really know how to handle it when other believers take the Lord’s name in vain. It’s one of those things that makes me cringe more than any other–the way that we’ve latched onto phrases that allow us to mutter ‘God’ or ‘Jesus Christ’ under our breath when something bad has happened. Are we really directing that toward Him… or has the name of the great I Am literally become a curse word? Sometimes it’s more of an exclamation, a claim of disbelief. It seems to take on various meanings, depending on context.

It’s interesting because back in the day, devout Jews wouldn’t even utter the name of God because it was so holy it would be considered blasphemy… and now we toss His name around without thinking twice about it.

Some might argue that because the actual word ‘God’ is not the name of God it’s not considered taking the Lord’s name in vain.

The people of Israel were so in awe of the name of God that they did not put the vowels into the words or say them to keep from accidentally blaspheming. YHWH comes out in English as Yahweh, or more popularly (but less accurate) as Jehovah.   -Kevin Corbin 

I get this argument. Because we’re not walking around saying ‘Oh Yahweh’ when we stub our toe… maybe it’s not so wrong after all?

I’d still argue it though. I’d argue it because the phrases consist of the names most of us in America commonly use for Him. They are the names He is known by here. God. Lord. Christ. Even the word ‘holy’ has a lot of uses for it now that don’t actually mean holy (watch some Batman, if you don’t believe me).

I struggle with this one a lot though… I struggle because it’s a hard one for me to confront. I hate having to tell people who I know love the Lord dearly that they are, in fact, using the Lord’s name in vain. Lots of times they don’t even realize it… and lots of times it’s become so much of a habit that it’s pointless… and every once in a while I get the ‘it doesn’t matter, because I’m not actually taking the Lord’s name in vain’ stance.

Sometimes I feel crazy for caring…but for whatever reason I feel like this matters. No, it’s not going to determine our salvation. And maybe it equates to us using all sorts of words/phrases in vain. We very clearly are a people who are quick to make promises to pray for someone (and then don’t) or to assure others that the Lord told us something (even if we know He didn’t). Lots of jargon, lots of lingo… all used in vain.

I don’t know.
I just know there’s a higher calling in our lives. I know there’s a greater purpose.
Maybe you think it matters… maybe you don’t.

You tell me…
Curious to hear your thoughts on this one.