In my last risque blog about the big ‘M’, someone responded, asking me about ridding ourselves completely of the things that cause of us to have sexual desires. Surely if we are guarding our hearts and minds against all temptation than there would never be a need for sexual release, right?
Isn’t that what it means to flee from sexual immorality? Isn’t that what it means to strive for holiness?
Is it?
Do we forget that sexual and immorality don’t always go hand in hand? Or do we automatically assume that when something is sexual that it’s immoral? It seems that we keep raising up a culture that trains us to think that sex is bad, wrong, and nothing we should want or desire. It’s wicked, is it not?
I hate this.
I really, really do.
I hate it because we’ve distorted something so good and turned it into evil…when it’s not. Is it because we don’t know how to teach about sex to our young people in a way that discourages them from messing around without just putting a ton of fear into them? Is it because we’re too scared of awkward and uncomfortable conversations? It is just easier to say that sex is bad, bad, bad and don’t even think about doing it before you’re married because you’ll either wind up pregnant, or with STDs, or emotionally scarred for life?
Do we forget the part where sex is actually good, good, good…the part where God blessed Adam and Eve and told them to be fruitful and multiply? Do we only know how to convey this through cheesy flower metaphors, telling young girls that every time they give a petal away that they’ll have less to give their husbands (inevitably causing those who have already disposed of their petals to be racked with a guilt that will be hard to shake for the rest of their lives)?
I know there are truths in all of this. I know there is damage to be done the more sexually promiscuous we are–emotionally, physically, spiritually. I just don’t think the ways we have taught about it have been the most beneficial. Have we not just created a culture where Christians are desperate to have sex so they get married when they’re still teenagers? Have we not created an environment where rebellion is alluring? Have we not, simultaneously, created an army of people striving for desexualization?
How do we encourage people that sex is worth waiting for? How do we encourage them that it’s better within the context of an emotionally and spiritually intimate marriage? Without the threats and the fears that so often accompany it? Without the negativity thrown in, causing so many young people to believe that sex, at the core, is bad. And with that mindset, how do you ever really recover?
We’ve cheapened sex. By being too sexually active with anyone and everyone…and also by believing anything having to do with sex is wrong and bad.
This is where I challenge you to strip away the things that other people have told you about sex. Rid yourself of the things that your friends, your parents, your teachers, your pastors, your teammates, the books have told you. Go to scripture. Find out for yourself what the Bible says about this topic. Maybe you’ll find out that much of what you’ve been told/taught is true. Maybe you’ll find out the opposite.
Paul reminds us in 1 Thessalonians 5 to examine all things and to hold onto what is good. Are you examining all things? Or are you just clinging to the things that sound good?
Don’t let good things get distorted into evil.
Don’t let bad things get distorted into good.
There is truth to be found–and you need to seek it. For yourself.
Don’t take the easy way out in this. We miss out on entirely too much, live our lives in guilt and shame, or let the sin swallow us whole.
And maybe you’ll find that sexual and immorality don’t always go hand and hand after all.