A Forgotten Humanity

I’ve been wondering lately if Jesus would have voted if He were an American citizen.

I’ve been wondering if or how He would partake in the rhetoric that has become so normalized. Humanity at its finest. Blame. Accusation. Defense. Disbelief. Mockery. Meanness. Entitlement. Superiority.

Perhaps it’s a classic case of just needing to look at my 1990s W.W.J.D. bracelet… but, I really have wondered what role He would assume in our current culture. Because that has some bearing on how, when, or if I do (or don’t) get involved. It’s as though politics, pandemics, movements, and impossible-to-please-everyone decisions have stripped people of their humanity. And we have forgotten that on the other side of a policy, or a protest, or a political party, or a television screen, or a social media post, or a decision we don’t like… that there are real people with real souls.

It feels somewhat ironic, given the causes (or people) we are often fighting for.

Oh, I thought the Bible said…

But somehow, our […hatred, harsh words, thoughts, opinions…] are justified. As if we are living as though Scripture says, “Value others above yourselves…except if you disagree with them, if they offend you, or if they seem ignorant. Then it’s okay to disregard them, speak poorly of them, and assume you are better than them.”

Or, “Love only the people who are just like you, the ones who you agree with, get along with… you know, the ones who look like you, believe like you, vote like you, and act like you. It doesn’t matter if you love anyone else. Those other people, they aren’t worth saving or caring about.”

Because we are the ones who are “right” and that begins to matter abundantly more than the people. Whether it’s our stance, our prejudices, our experiences, our knowledge, our understanding of the issue at hand, the way we are personally impacted… somehow this provides us with a “truth” that excuses us from kindness, grace, and love. It becomes perfectly acceptable to think or make generalized (and sometimes atrocious) statements about groups of people and/or individuals.

How do I be a Christian right now?

It’s been a baffling season to live in as a Christian. Maybe for you, too.

I wonder if I’m not doing enough, or saying enough, or being enough – or maybe I’m doing too much. I am often in disbelief that I can claim the same identity as another (a child of God) and yet when we are both looking at a square, I see a circle and they see a triangle. How can this be? What am I missing?

I’ve struggled with the lack of unity that grows more apparent each day. Is there any room in this world to disagree on politics, or the economy, or how to stand up against injustice, or decisions that are made… but still hold one another in high regard, to show honor, to heap blessings upon the other? Is there any thought of (or desire for) harmonious living?

I have been overwhelmingly challenged lately to check my heart, ever-aware of the judgment and disbelief that so readily surfaces. “I can’t believe she would say that… or believe that… or do that…”, “He is such a…”, “Don’t these idiots know that…?”

I am ruined

And when I look deeply within, I am ashamed at what I encounter. A spirit of pride. A feeling that I am “right”, and that I know “better”. Criticism, doubt, anger. An inability to see people as image-bearers of the Most High God. Woe to me…I am ruined!

For me to forget that I am just as human, just as fallible, just as broken… just as in need of saving grace as the person posting to my right or to my left. How dare I? How dare I forage for the ounce of disagreeableness within you while I carry a hefty load of filth within me (a load that I conveniently choose to ignore, or dismiss as ‘not as big a deal’). How mortifying that I might condemn you, but be so unwilling to admit that I could be wrong…

Have I forgotten what I have been saved from? Have I lost sight of the depth, the weight, the gravity of my sin… ? Do I remember that blood was shed to set me…us…free? Have I forgotten the Gospel?!

What a disgrace to think that I might know you well enough to know what you have been through and how that shapes your worldview. What ignorance for me to assume that my way, my understanding, my perspective is right or truth. What pride, when I refuse to really hear you or care for you, even if we don’t see the world in the same way. What shame, that I am willing to judge your actions when I cannot possibly know what decisions you have been forced to make.

I am sorry.

Will you forgive me? Will you forgive the harsh or insensitive words that I have spoken or written? Can you somehow put my grossly judgmental thoughts in the past and trudge through our differences to find a place where we can see each other as humans once again (or, maybe, for the first time)?

Can we find the time and space to care about each other? To know each other? To move past the assumptions and exist in a world where we both strive to find common ground?

And, Jesus, will You forgive me, too?

As I consider You, the Triune God who is sovereign in all things, I fall on my face… undeserving of your grace. I bring pride, selfishness, self-righteousness, and, often, an unwillingness to love my brothers and sisters – the ones You call sons and daughters. But Lord, if I know anything about Your call on my life, it’s that I cannot claim to love you and not love others. You even ask me to love my enemies… the people who laugh at my failures, the ones who smile at my pain. The ones who have caused me deep pain. The very people I want to hate.

So Father, teach me how to love. Show me how. Help me do it when I cannot on my own. May You find me willing, ready, and actively seeking to show Your love in this world, during a time when humanity feels so divided…. so…. forgotten.

Yeah, but he’s still a…

And Lord, help me to actively confess my pride, my judgments, my condemnation of others and their opinions/actions/words when it surfaces. Help me to do so, even when I feel under attack. Even if I have to do it over and over and over again.

There is no world in which I believe You condone those thoughts, those accusations, those words toward or about others – regardless of what they say, write, believe, or do. Show me how rid myself of any excuse or justification of sin or ill-will toward others. To live with the type of humility that Christ did. To be a person who, in addition to love, brings joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to those around me. Give me wisdom on how to act, think, and speak in today’s world.

God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Trust & Obey

The comment:

The hard part is talking about my personal “stuff”. I’d rather help others than talk about my own prison. I don’t want to be judged. It’s hard exposing my darkness to light. Is there any easy way to bring up this not so easy topic?? Im afraid that others won’t care/ judge me and if they do care I’m not too sure i know how to respond. If He listens, cares, loves and/or with me than why am I still fighting these dragons?! I’m hanging by a thread but want to know and experience this hope and change, but how long of wait is to long! It all seems impossible. How do I find hope and stop doubting?? I’m lost and I’m not sure how to get out or if ill get out.

I received this response to my one of my posts last week. As I was replying, I realized that within this cry for help, there’s a bit of all of us.

So many of us are afraid that if we truly open up and share what’s going on in the depths of our hearts, that others will either not care or they’ll judge us. I know I think that way all the time. I know I’ve watched others expose some of the most intimate details of their lives, only to be met with awkward silence or a gushing of cliche sentiments about how God is still sovereign and has a plan. And then, if those things don’t happen, there’s the random chance that they really will care and, because that’s so inconsistent to what we know, it’s terrifying and we don’t know how to respond.

We often let our distrust of others become the reason that we live in isolation, and so our cells grow colder and darker and lonelier. I’m not sure trusting others is the end goal though- only, that’s what we tend to focus on. We tend to let our relationships revolve around trust, and whether or not we can divulge our entire beings to someone else will dictate whether someone is worthy of being a true friend.

When I talk about bringing light to darkness, I’m not sure how vital trust is. The point in bringing light to the darkness doesn’t seem to be about trust as much as it is about healing. Perhaps, in the process, trust will form and it will be what’s necessary…but I think the exposure to the light is all about admitting that we need Jesus. Not that we need others, per se, but that we need Jesus Christ. There’s an element of allowing others in and leaning on them, but I don’t think it’s in such a way that they become our everything, our sole confidant, our life-line. I don’t think it’s in such a way that we are asked to trust them with our entire beings.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think we, oftentimes, get to hung up on trust issues and we let that become a thing that dominates our life. I don’t trust him so I’m not going to date him, I don’t trust her so I’m not going to tell her this about my past…and the list could go on…and on and on. And, to some degree, trust needs to be there, yes. But, I think we’re fools if we go through life thinking that people are never going to let us down or hurt us. It’s within our human nature to do so. I also think we’re fools if we go through life always expecting people to hurt us. It is plausible that people can and will surprise us with their loyalty, with showing up, with loving us despite our weaknesses and we ought to let them do that.

Trusting others doesn’t mean that they are to be the keeper of all of our secrets and if they don’t hold up their end of the bargain they’ve let us down. Trusting others might simply mean that when they say they care about you or love you, that you’ll let them do that… in their own way. Trusting others might mean that you allow their love and care for you to look different than what you might have imagined. Trusting them might mean that when they’ve told someone your ‘secret’ that you ultimately know it’s because they cared about you (so they ended up telling your mom that you were cutting, or that you have an eating disorder, or that you have a drug problem…).

Unfortunately, trusting others might also mean that they betray you, or you find out that they don’t care about you at all. They might judge you. It’s part of the risk. But, again, I don’t think the letting light in is about trust. It’s about healing, and opening up to others is a step in that direction. Don’t let others’ reactions and sins be the thing that keeps you from walking in freedom.

Trust is important. It’s a huge aspect of what it means for us to love others….for love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres… So when we live the majority of our lives in distrust, it seems we’ve missed the mark when we claim to love everyone.

Be willing to take risks.
Be willing to trust the Lord and walk obediently to what He has called you to do…and know that He’s going to take care of you in the process. When you’re trusting Him with this, when people hurt and betray you.. you’ll know that you are secure in something greater.

Never fear, only trust and obey.

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