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As much as I can be in a place of contentment, especially in regard to singleness… sometimes I feel like there’s a big, red ‘REJECTED’ branded across my face.

It’s not even that I place it there, but it’s that I feel like others are. Like when they find out how old I am and that I’m still single, only one thought could possibly cross their mind: What’s wrong with her? Why does no one want her…? 

It becomes an identity I wear because I fear it’s what others are thinking about me (even if it isn’t truly what they are thinking about me). It’s pretty messed up.

Singleness doesn’t often immediately reflect a life of opportunity and freedom, but it often begs the sorrowful glances of those already married or those younger who have high hopes of getting married before they reach my ripe old age. Very rarely am I met with a, ‘Oh cool…being single is the best- I never want to get married!’ More often I think I’m admired for being 29 and handling my singleness in a seemingly okay manner… like a, ‘Man, Debbie, if I’m 29 and single…I hope I can do it like you are.’

I get asked a lot of it’s hard.
I get asked if I’m doing okay.
I get asked if I’m jealous of my friends in relationships.

I can’t shake the feeling that people feel sorry for me…. and partially it’s because when I was younger, I remember feeling sorry for older ladies who were still very single (as if marriage was the end all be all of existence). So… I get it, even if my perspective on it has changed as I’ve aged.

But the pity only makes me feel like something is genuinely wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who can’t see the giant goiter on my neck that makes me repulsive. Or maybe I’m just oblivious to these obvious character flaws I possess. Because, at this point, surely someone would have wanted me by now if I was a ‘normal’ person. Something must be wrong, even if it’s not noticeable right from the start…

It’s hard to escape the feeling that no one wants me. Or, that it appears to others as though no one wants me (like, could they ever entertain the notion that maybe I’m not interested in the guys that have wanted me?).

And, when I feel like that….when I feel my identity deeply rooted in one of REJECTED, unwanted, unliked… that’s when I start reaching. Not even because I necessarily want to, but because I think I should. I convince myself that I’ve been too stand-offish, too intimidating, giving the impression that I’m not interested and that I don’t care. So I over-compensate. I initiate. I say things. I do things.

Ironically, what typically ensues from there is more rejection…only this time it feels more real. It’s not rejection simply because of the absence of a man in my life, but it’s rejection from actual men in my life (even within the realm of friendship).

The problem?
My solution to feeling the brand placed upon me by others is often to prove to them that I am not rejected, that I am worthy of being cared for by a man…and so I go in search of it. I fall victim to fears of what others might think of me and dwell in an identity that isn’t true. To escape it, I search through more unfulfilling things and hope to find my identity in the security of a relationship.

It’s bogus.
REJECTED isn’t the word that defines me. It can’t be. It won’t be.
I also need to recognize that the way I interpret other people’s thoughts of me are often incorrect and presumptuous. I can’t live my life based on how I fear others might be perceiving me.

But, in case you’re wondering?
I’m okay. Being single is pretty sweet a majority of the time. I often look at married couples and am thankful I get to go home to my empty, un-sexed bed because it seems a lot less complicated.
Is it hard? Yes… and no. Depends on the day and the moment of the day.
Do I get jealous? Sometimes. Sure. I’m human.

I don’t need pity, though.
And there’s probably as much wrong with me as there is wrong with all the people who are married. And I’m still thankful for my 29 years of singleness and the things I’ve learned through long bouts of singleness and challenging dating relationships alike. I wouldn’t change it. It’s how it was meant to be.

And I can’t go searching for fulfillment in a relationship when I encounter the feelings of rejection.
It never satisfies.

So here’s to erasing the brands we claim as our own (whether we or someone else has placed them there). Here’s to finding true life and joy outside of being in a romantic relationship. Here’s to the truth that life is about abundantly more than it.

We are not rejected.
Let’s stop living out of it and letting it define us.
Let’s stop wishing our circumstances were always different and embracing what they are.
Because, right now, if you’re single…? It is good.
Let it be good. Embrace it.

You are not rejected.

Girl: Do you think I’ll stop worrying when I know he loves me for sure?
Friend: Just listen to yourself.
Girl: There’s so much to lose.
Friend: There always is.

It’s a segment from Paula McLain’s The Paris Wife…and I think it speaks volumes to where many women are at in life.

We’re always thinking that the next step in the relationship will give us the feeling of security and comfort that we’re longing for. If we’re just talking to a guy we’re interested in, we think we might stop worrying if he would just ask us out or let us know what he’s really thinking about us. If we’re dating a guy, we might stop worrying if we just knew that he not only loved us, but was ready to spend the rest of his life with us. If we’re married, we might stop worrying if we knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would have eyes for no one but us. Or maybe we’d stop worrying if we knew that every time he left the house he would be guaranteed to come back home…safe from any disaster that could take him away from us earlier than expected.

The point?
The point is that we’re always finding a reason to worry. We’re always feeling like there’s so much to lose. Once we get to one rung on the ladder, we realize there are more to climb… and honestly? The higher we get, the more risky it becomes.

Is it ever safe?

No.
Not really. Not in the way we’d like for it to be.
There’s always so much to lose. There’s always so much at stake. Our hearts are on the line. No matter how much we long for certainty, security, for absolutes… we’ll never really get it.

So what’s our response?
Honestly, sometimes I want to flee. To flee from any possibility of intimacy or connection because I recognize that the fall will only hurt worse the higher I get up on the ladder. The closer I get, the more I reveal of my heart, the more I let someone in… the more it hurts when he doesn’t like me back, when he isn’t ready to commit, when he screws up, when he disappears…

But what kind of life is that?
What about the thrill, the anticipation, the hope, the joy, the memories, the experiences, the shared life of learning and growing…?
Where’s the adventure?
Where’s the taking a chance?

Whenever I’d hook kids into the zipline, or send them down the rappel…I’d typically ask them if they were scared. ‘A little…’, they might reply. ‘Good. That means it’ll be more fun.’

Because it was true. The risk makes it more fun, more worthwhile, more memorable. The unknown of what it will actually be makes it intoxicating.

Maybe relationships are a bit like that, too.
And as much as I’d sometimes rather stay on the ground because it’s easier, safer, more comfortable? I want to ride the zipline… I want to climb the ladder. I want to risk. I want to have adventure. I want to see what comes, even when I’m sometimes worried about what there is to lose.

In the end, I think I lose more when I’m unwilling to venture out and see what happens.
There’s always much to lose.

You get to decide what’s worth it and what’s not.
Climb the ladder.
Fall hard if you’re going to fall.
I’m pretty sure it’s worth it…especially when you are assured that life isn’t solely about this. Because it isn’t.

I’m deeply content.
And deeply dissatisfied.

I journaled this today:
I don’t know how to escape the depth of the heartache, the longing…even when I am swallowed up in so much good.

I scampered up some rocks today, quickly reaching a lookout where the views felt quite surreal. ‘I live here…’ It’s a thought I repeat to myself daily as though it will eventually sink in that this place is now home. It hasn’t yet.

So I sat, continually enchanted by the light interacting with the clouds, as it danced on the mountains. It’s beautiful here. And every few seconds feels more beautiful than the last. I can’t keep up.

It is good.
My job, my community (mixed with old and new faces alike), my house… it’s good.
I’m constantly humbled, excited, terrified about everything this transition means, but above anything else I’m assured that this is where I am meant to be. Right now, anyway.

And so I’m deeply content.
But as I watched the dance out in creation, my heart still longed for something more. It felt like something was missing. Something important.

Immediately my flesh craved the intimacy of a man, ‘If only I had a husband, this would be entirely perfect’. Immediately my flesh craved the comfort of a family, ‘If only I had a child of my own, this would be entirely perfect’.

They are the things I tell myself occasionally. If only this, then I would be satisfied. It’s a bad hypothesis. My flesh looks for the things of this world that I do not have and immediately assumes that that is what is missing. These things I ‘should’ have are the missing puzzle pieces to a life of true fulfillment.

My flesh is wrong.
Today I’m extremely aware that my deep longings cannot be satisfied in a spouse, or my own children, or a dream job, or incredible scenery, or a life-giving community, or a sweet house, or a loving family.   Today I’m extremely aware that even in the midst of true, deep contentment…even in the midst of knowing Jesus and the hope that I have in Him…something is still missing. There’s still an ache, a void, a longing.

A hole that nothing here can satisfy.

Today I’m reminded, yet again, that this life I’m living is such a small scene in the picture of eternity. That one day Jesus and I will be face to face.
That while even though I get glimpses of that joy and that wholeness here on earth, it fades. But one day it will last forever. And on that day the hole will be filled, the ache will be healed, the longing will truly be satisfied.

I’m deeply content.
And deeply dissatisfied.
But hopeful for what awaits…for what awaits is far better than anything this earth or my mind can conjure up. For I cannot escape the chasm that exists in the here and now, but my hope lies in something greater… the One who bridges the gap.

Somehow the hope chisels away the dissatisfaction as I’m reminded that this world is not my home.

May He remind us over and over again of the hope that we have…and that one day we will be eternally satisfied by He who matters most, without all the flirting of would-be substitutes that all too often leave us empty.

Looking forward to the day…

The Comment:

When friends that followed Christ suddenly stop. They stop because they just want to be friends with the people they used to hang out with. They stop their relationship with Christ to have “fun” without feeling bad about it. They stop following Christ so her friends won’t feel judged. Then they start questioning God. Was there walk with Him real? Is He real? It is like they traded a diamond for a McDonalds happy meal toy.

Well, I do love McDonald’s (yes, you can judge me)… 

But, I digress… 
This is a good thing to bring up. It’s something I think we all kind of wonder about at various points in our life. What are we even supposed to think when our Christian friends suddenly seem to care less about following Jesus? What are we supposed to do when they seem to transform overnight…wearing clothes we barely recognize, talking crudely and doing all sorts of things they never would have condoned a few weeks earlier? 

It’s tricky.
And, unfortunately, I think all too often we handle the situation with judgement and condemnation. I think too often we forget that we don’t know their whole story. Too often we think that if we don’t call them out, if we don’t tell them how wrong they are, if we don’t remind them of the things that said they used to believe that we will somehow be in trouble for it. Too often we assume responsibility for their soul and too often we lack love as we approach the situation (and if we don’t actually lack love, the way we react may give the impression that we don’t love them). But, sometimes we need to say something.

How do you know when to speak up and when to stay silent?
I don’t think there’s a formula for it.
But I do believe that everything must be done in love.
And I think we need to keep in mind how much Jesus still loves them, even when they seem to have wandered off the beaten path. I think we need to really think about what His response would look like…I think we need to look at what His response was to those who hung Him on the cross.

I think we need to remember that we, ourselves, are also not perfect. While our actions may not be a blatant disregard for Jesus, there are many things throughout the day that I think or say that probably aren’t up to ‘par’ with what someone who loves Jesus is ‘supposed’ to do/think/say.

So I guess there are just some things to consider before we go around throwing stones at everyone else.

• Does your friend know you truly love them no matter what? Do they know that if you were to ask them about what’s going on with them that you’re asking out of genuine concern and not judgement or condemnation? 
• Do you trust the Lord with them? Do you trust that He’s in control, that He’s taking care of it…and that He loves them more than you ever can? 
• Do you remember the Lord’s grace… always abounding, never-ending…even when He is crucified, even when His children rebel and turn their face away? Do you remember that He still takes us all back, no matter how often we run? 

One of my guy friends recently decided to read my blog when it popped up on his Facebook newsfeed. He’s no stranger to the reason behind the blog, so when he read one of my ‘most popular’ posts on Coffee Dates he was slightly frustrated.

‘I feel like you’re giving allowance for girls to over-analyze and be crazy!’

As we hashed through our various opinions on the subject, I offered up the lame proposal of agreeing to disagree. Somewhere in me, though, I knew he had a point. While my post was an attempt to explain to guys why the coffee date gesture can be so confusing, I was also (perhaps) giving women an excuse to keep over-analyzing, second-guessing, and freaking out about all the possible meanings behind such a request.

It wasn’t my intent.
And while I’d like to be able to write a blog that every female could read and suddenly be at ease, less crazy and less over-analytical… I suppose I know that’s not reality. While I’d like to be able to offer up some tangible solution that suddenly makes us less irrational and worried about the possibilities of what could be…I still haven’t found one. Not one that actually withstands any prolonged amount of time, anyway.

Because, in the end, it becomes necessary for us to repeat the truths over and over again…for us to fight to choose to act ‘normal’…for us to not make decisions that are rash and emotional. No matter how good our surrender was of our ‘crazy’ antics and worries during that one really spiritual mountaintop experience, they still come back to haunt us. Or, at least that’s how it’s been with me…

I can write things, I can proclaim things, I can acknowledge how utterly ridiculous I am sometimes…and beg that the Lord would truly take away all of my ‘crazy’ as I long to trust Him in all things…but I know that maybe even a few seconds later, I may need to do it all over again.

It’s a fight.
A repetitious fight.
And I think one of the first steps in engaging the battle is being aware of our inner ‘crazy’. It’s being aware of our tendencies to over-analyze, to read into things, to worry unnecessarily. If we are unable to recognize it, we’re absolutely unable to try to surrender it.

I don’t ever want to make allowances for the ‘crazy’ that seems to, all too often, mess with the minds and hearts of us females. I never want to say that it’s right or okay or the way it should be… BUT, I think that we also need to acknowledge (and men, you need to be aware) that it’s often a fight for us. The natural thing for many of us is to over-analyze, or worry, or act irrationally…but it doesn’t mean that’s who we want to be or even who we are. It just means that we have to learn how to hold our tongues, how to not let our internal freak-outs dictate our actions. It means we have to surrender again and again and again.

It can be exhausting.
So… my friend is right. While I stand by the fact that men should be more straight-forward with their romantic intentions (especially with coffee), us girls need to try to not get so flustered or caught up in all the different scenarios of what in the world coffee may or may not mean.

Sometimes we just need to let it be.
To let it be what it is.
And fight hard to surrender all the other possibilities that fly through our mind in the span of five seconds.

Men… we won’t be perfect at it.
But hopefully each day that we are fighting, the Lord is refining us as He continually teaches us what it means to trust Him, what it means to surrender, what it means to not live life based on our fleeting emotions and over-analyzations of a situation.

Here’s to letting it be.
Over and over and over again…

The comment: 

Can a fairy-tale actually happen in reality?

There certainly seem to be moments where that happens, right? 
The moments where all seems right in the world. 
The moments when you think, ‘I can’t believe this is actually happening to me!!’ because whatever is happening is so good it’s practically unbelievable. 

Fairy-tale moments. 

But what I think we forget about the fairy tales is that there is always an antagonist. The step-mother, the witch, the giant octopus lady with too much make-up and a frightening mole (why are they mostly women…?)
… or the giant, or the Royal Vizier with a sarcastic parrot, or vicious dragons.

We forget that there’s opposition that has to be overcome…or else we think that once opposition is overcome that there’s only the happy ending. We forget that we never really get to see what happens to Snow White once she marries her prince charming, we forget that we never really see what Sleeping Beauty is like once she is awake (a controlling, unhappy lady who is ticked about having slept so much of her life away perhaps…?).

The point is that the ‘fairy-tale’ that we so often visualize, that we so often get fixated on… is simply a life full of romance and happy endings. A life of things working out the way we want them to. But… that’s not how fairy tales really go.

Because a fairy tale, like any good story, has to have conflict. A fairy tale has to have good overcoming bad. Otherwise, it’d be boring. It’d be just another story about a woman who marries a prince, but it’s much more exciting (and weird) when he climbs up her hair to rescue her out of a tower… isn’t it?

We want the good parts of the fairy tales… and we often forget about the bad that comes with them, too. It isn’t a life of knights in shining armor marrying the girl of their dreams… but it’s a life of a man fighting through whatever opposition stands in the way of the damsel in distress. Read me: man fighting (not always perfectly), woman in distress. It’s messy. It’s ugly. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. It’s risky. It’s unpredictable. Will he succeed?

And yes, most fairy tales end with a ‘happily-ever-after’. He succeeds. And so here is where I think real life begins to separate itself from the fairy-tale world. In real life, there will still be challenges to overcome. Kids, money, jobs, death, depression, addictions… things that get in the way of the fairy tale ending. Moments where you have to continue to fight, moments where you’re still in distress.

There’s also the danger of identifying too much with fairy-tales. Of identifying too much with the characters in a fairy-tale. For example, as a woman…it becomes detrimental for me to think that any man can save me from my distress. The fairy tales can easily lead me to believe that if the right guy comes along, then all of my problems will be solved. But, that’s never the solution. I think the fairy tales can give us this disillusion of being able to complete each other, fix each other…heal our wounds and brokenness. We cannot. We will not.

So while our real lives can reflect some aspects of fairy-tale living, I think we have to approach it carefully. We can’t gloss over the bad parts of the fairy-tales and pretend that fairy-tale means only good. And we can’t pretend like the simple solutions that the characters in fairy-tales find resolution in are the things that will solve our problems.

I think fairy-tales register so deeply within us because they are genuine desires that we have. Desires to be pursued, to be fought for, to fight for, to pursue…. desires to beat the opposition that faces us, to have victory, to be freed. But, we have to look at the source of the opposition…and we have to recognize where true wholeness can be found, where freedom comes from. It isn’t in the earthly relationships.

I think there are ‘fairy-tale’ seeming moments in reality.
But let’s be careful about how much weight we place on trying to make these happen. And let’s be careful about how much weight we place on ‘happily-ever-afters’. And let’s remember that those moments where all feels right in the world? That that’s just a small taste of what is yet to come.

Enjoy the moments.
But don’t idolize the moments.
Remember the weight of eternity. Remember the true Prince who pursues your soul and that everything else is just a shadow of the real thing.

We are made for more than fairy-tale moments.
I’m a firm believer that what awaits us will be better than even a fairy-tale reality.

And again we fix our eyes on what is unseen… for what is seen is only temporary.

Two years ago my first nephew was born.

His heart wasn’t beating.
He was a few months early.
He had Trisomy 13…a rare chromosome disorder.

Tragedy had struck my family in a way that it never had before. In a hospital waiting room, filled with balloons and laughter as loved ones eagerly awaited the announcement of a new arrival…we waited, too.

It was a great irony.

When my brother came in to announce his arrival, I searched his face carefully. I watched as he hugged my mother, the tears rolling down his face. Colton Michael was here. Lifeless, but loved. Loved dearly.

It’s been two years today.
And so we celebrated.
My sister-in-law baked a cake and we remembered Colton.

Because bad things happen.
But it doesn’t mean that joy is stripped from us.
It doesn’t mean that God isn’t good.

Too often I fear that we demand answers. We demand understanding. We demand to have what we think we deserve. Healthy children. Well-paying jobs. Loving & faithful spouses. Security. Reliable vehicles. For things to go the way that we plan…

And when they don’t?
Our response is often to be angry at God.
After all… if He is good and sovereign…how could He let this happen?
How could He let my nephew die?

My brother and sister-in-law continually teach me about God’s goodness. They remind me that we’ve already been given so much more than we deserve. They remind me that we are already uncommonly blessed. That even when they know such devastating loss, they’ve never blamed God or been angry with Him. Instead, they’ve been genuinely thankful for the ways Colton’s life has taught them, for the ways He has shown them more about who God is, for the ways he has changed others’ lives.
Here’s a snippet from their blog about Colton’s story:

The other night Melissa said some amazing things. She was talking about all of the ways in which Colton’s life has been a blessing to people. Not only the well in Uganda, but people have come to us and said how Colton’s story has brought them closer to their spouses, their children, and to God. And Melissa said that if she had to choose between all of those good things–all of those blessings, the children in Africa who will have clean water, all of it–and Colton, she would choose Colton. Absolutely, I thought. As would I. And then, in tears, she said, “And that’s why God didn’t leave it up to me.” 

I did not know what to say. For her to recognize God’s goodness in this, even while acknowledging that it has come at the expense of the deep desires of her own heart, was one of the most touching, heart-wrenching, and beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I continue to be humbled by Melissa and to be amazed at her capacity to love others. I see in her the heart of Christ, who asked for the cup to be taken away, and then said, “may Your will be done.”

Can we believe that God is still good in the midst of tragedy?
Can we believe that, even when our hearts are desperately aching, that He loves us…and that He knows better than us?

The loss still stings.
We still mourn his absence.
Tears fell as we sang today, knowing we couldn’t hug and squeeze a two-year-old little boy and rain down love upon him in very tangible way.

I think there’s much to be gained when we stop blaming God for all the bad things that happen to us in life. When we’re willing to admit that maybe there’s a bigger picture. When we’re willing to believe that God’s love is infinitely greater than our own attempts of it.

I want to trust that.
I want to trust Him.
Even in the bad.
Because the bad will happen… even when I’m the best person I can possibly be, even when I try and do everything right.

I get to choose how to respond.
I get to still proclaim that God is good.
That I am blessed.
Uncommonly blessed. No matter how bad it gets here.

Because this isn’t the end of the story.
And for that I am thankful.

Ever had an inappropriate crush?  Someone significantly older (sometimes even by 11 or 12 years)? Or married? Or your pastor? All of the above? Maybe an authority figure of some kind: teacher, coach, etc?

I occasionally find myself in this awkward position. Today is one of those days. I know it’s not wrong unless you act on it, but it still can feel so wrong, and can leave me feeling a little guilty and confused. Is it enough to try and forget about it and pretend it doesn’t exist? Usually that works for me. But what if you see them every day? Do you avoid the person? What if you can? There have been a couple times friends have confessed these secret and odd crushes (on the same people as me!) and I just let out a sigh of relief. 

I’ve realized I’m instantly giddy every time I talk to this person. (Because they’re funny! I thought, until I realized my mind was wandering to inappropriate places.) Can we all just admit it happens? What do we do with it? Can we live in the tension, yet still stay pure from sin?

Yes. We can admit it.  
But, ‘crush’ might be too strong of a word for me. Perhaps ‘attraction’ is better. ‘Crush’ can easily take on the connotation that you’ve allowed yourself to dabble in the feelings of attraction long enough to develop a crush. ‘Crush’ is admitting that not only have you deemed this person attractive and interesting, but you’ve gone a step further. 

While the word ‘crush’ can seem fairly harmless, when I think about the fullness of what it entails (especially the 6th grade version of myself who crushes on guys), it has everything to do with getting their attention, talking to them, flirting with them…and celebrating the moments of success when they give you their attention, talk to you and flirt back. 

So while I think we can definitely be attracted to people who we shouldn’t be pursuing, I think harm can come when we allow it to develop into a ‘crush’. When we allow ourselves to think (or daydream) about the possibilities, when our actions are clearly sprung from a place of wanting to get to know the other person for all the wrong reasons. 

There’s a lot of danger in it. And a lot of necessary self-discernment and self-discipline of recognizing that you’re (a) attracted to someone who is either unavailable or inappropriate for you to be in a romantic relationship with and then (b) taking appropriate measures to ensure that that attraction doesn’t turn into a crush, a fantasy, or, worse yet, an affair. 

I think it’s easy to convince ourselves that the attractions, in and of themselves, are harmless…and while that’s true… I think it can very quickly take a turn for the worse. And very quickly one can become the seducer or the mistress without ever knowing what happened. Very quickly the interactions that are fun and easy can become times of sharing hearts and souls, times of asking too many personal questions, times of letting down guards that don’t need to be let down. Times when you may, unknowingly, be filling some sort of void or playing into a struggle on their end. 

But, the attractions happen. We don’t mean for them to. If I’m being honest, there have definitely been seasons in my life where I’ve woken up from dreams, covered in guilt that I had been, in my dream, seeking out the physical affection of married men. But they’re never the things that I can dwell in or linger in. They are never attractions that I can play into or be curious about…nor do I ever want to. 

And so, yes. Boundaries become pretty imperative. If you find yourself more and more attracted by someone that you’re having to spend a lot of time with (because of work or school or whatever else) and it’s absolutely inappropriate? Limit the conversations, limit how much you are sharing of yourself…how much you are asking about them. Be disinterested, not mean. But, try to distance yourself from the situation as much as you can. Be proactive in this, especially if you are acknowledging that this attraction has turned into more of a crush. 

I advise telling someone else, but only if they are someone you know won’t encourage you in the attraction. Only if you know that you can trust them to be your confidant, to pray with/for you, and to ask you questions about your thoughts/actions regarding this attraction. If you tell someone who is encouraging you in this inappropriate attraction, you must distance yourself from talking to them about it at all. 

You’re not alone. 
And you can certainly live in the tension and remain pure… but, honestly, I think you can be very proactive in making wise decisions that will allow you to not feel conflicted with the inappropriate crush. It’ll be merely a recognizing that this person is attractive and cool, but 100% unavailable and that’s just how it is. You definitely don’t need to hold onto guilt for that. 

No need to pretend the attraction doesn’t exist (in fact, I think more harm can ensue when you’re in denial)…but, rather, take appropriate measures to make sure it doesn’t deepen. 

Because we always have choices… even when it comes to matters of the heart. As much as we like to think we ‘can’t help’ who we fall in love with…we can. 

Our heart is deceitful, remember?
Make good, wise choices.
Walk away, if necessary. 

You get to choose.

Don’t forget it.