Expect More

The two simple words pounded on my heart, attempting to permeate through the door that stood strong as I found myself pining after and hoping for the seemingly unattainable.

Here I was, caught up the act of The Chase.

Could I get thatguy to want me?

Could that guy choose me over those girls?

He seems too cool, too perfect… too everything to want to date me. But what if he did?

There’s a certain mystery that surrounds him, an unknown facet that lures me in.

I don’t even really know him, but does it matter?

The Chase makes me wait for the slightest insinuation that he might possibly find me interesting. The Chase causes my heart to hope the impossible might be made possible when he smiles at me, when he stops and talks to me, when he initiates any contact with me.

The Chase encourages me to play games. Before I know it, I’m wrapped up in a world where I’m playing ‘hard-to-get’…because what guy wants an easy target (isn’t that what many of us girls have been told for much of our lives?). I intentionally ignore, I delay responses, my words are flirty and ambiguous…leaving room for my own mystery to prevail.

Once I’m caught up in The Chase, I don’t always recognize my reflection in the mirror.

Who have I become?

To what end will I continue to sacrifice elements of who I am because of the possibility that this guy might decide he’s interested in me?

How long will I wait?

What else will I give up?

How much time have I spent on processing through the endless list of ‘what-ifs’?

Expect More.

Too often we associate The Chase with something only men do, failing to realize the effect that it can also have on the female heart. Too often we are not willing to be honest with ourselves when we develop crushes or have significant interest in a guy. Too often we sell ourselves short, allowing our hearts to leap at a casual, meaningless smile from an attractive guy….even occasionally at the expense of the ‘normal-looking’ guy who sincerely cares about the state of our being.

Expect More.

Wouldn’t you rather a man who is honest, upfront and intentional in his pursuit over you over a guy who is unclear, ambiguous and unwilling to make any type of commitment to you?

Wouldn’t you rather a man who is thoughtful, considerate and careful with his words over a guy who sporadically thinks about you, expects you to cater to his own desires, and rarely offers any kind words toward you?

Wouldn’t you rather a man who inspires you, challenges you, and pushes you toward better over a guy who never asks you questions, never cares about what you’re doing, never expresses concern over your spiritual well-being?

Wouldn’t you rather a man who longs to really know you over a guy who won’t take the time, isn’t willing to ask the questions, and fails to really listen when you choose to open up to him?

Because sometimes what we need isn’t exactly what we think we want.

Expect More.

The Chase isn’t usually worth it.

It isn’t usually what we actually want, and it’s more than likely the opposite of what we need.

The Chase caters to lies that we end up believing about ourselves (and often the men that have become the object of our affections). It caters to division as we compete with other women as we hope (and try) to come out on top. It caters to us often becoming people we don’t like as we have the tendency to act outside of our norm as we play games, manipulate and control.

The Chase makes us settle, it causes us to be satisfied with little when we should be expecting more. It causes us to throw ourselves at men who are not exactly interested in us, and allows for us to become easy targets for them to take advantage of us physically and emotionally (whether they intend to or not). And sometimes these guys whom we chase after are legitimately incredible guys, but they just aren’t the incredible guy for us. He just might not be into us, and our floundering back and forth between playing games and making ourselves convenient to them is just… confusing.

Take an honest look at yourself, ladies.

Are you caught up in The Chase?

Expect More.

Surrender the thoughts, quit the behaviors, and live in a place where you truly allow yourself to believe that the Lord is good…to you…in this. You don’t have to chase, you don’t have to settle, you don’t have to try desperately ‘win’ his affections.

Expect More.