Last night I made:
Pork tenderloin
Mashed potatoes
Homemade rolls
Chocolate Chip Cookies
(we’ll consider potatoes a vegetable right now)
And I wore an apron with nothing on underneath.
Just kidding.
But, I could have.
I’m a wife now.
I’m amazed by how quickly food goes now that I live with a man. I used to make a pizza for myself and eat leftovers for a few days… and now I’m lucky if we get leftovers at all.
Things no one warned me about.
There’s someone who now sleeps in my bed but rarely goes to sleep at the same time as me (partially because I’m a grandma and partially because he’s a night owl who requires less sleep than I do). Now I must learn to fall asleep to a small reading light in my normally pitch black room. No one told me about this before I said, “I do”.
Despite what everyone makes your virgin self think the days before your wedding, you don’t just have sex all the time as a newlywed. I actually think people are scared to come over, to invite us over, to call, to text, to email…because it might interfere with our sexual escapades. Perhaps I’m not like the rest of the newlyweds in the world, but we truly have lots of time for other things in life. Including friendships. We actually even like to hang out with other people. Crazy, I know.
I made a trip to Target by myself the other day to pick up a few items of necessity. On a normal occasion, I might have wandered through the clothing section and at least thought about purchasing a new item or two for myself. As I walked in the door, I looked longingly to my left and quickly veered right. I hadn’t discussed unnecessary financial decisions with my husband and I couldn’t very well spend $30 on an article of clothing and then be upset if he did the same (because, let’s be honest… I’d probably be upset about his super unnecessary purchase). While everyone warns you about the financial stresses in marriage, I didn’t really think about the fact that even smaller amounts of money warrant a bit of discussion. So much for my boyfriend cardigan spontaneous purchases.
So, life is different.
No one can possibly warn you of all the ways it’s going to change, either. What’s weird for me probably isn’t weird for the person next to me… and what I find easy, someone else might find incredibly hard.
It’s a good different, though.
There’s just learning period, a transition time that’s necessary.
You don’t brush your teeth at night every night?
But I don’t really ever floss?
Let’s agree not to judge the other’s personal hygiene habits too much… yet. We’re both mostly… clean.
Things no one warned me about.
We’re all really good at speaking from our own experiences. The things that work for us and the things that don’t work for us. I think that sometimes I got really good at assuming those things would often apply to me and my marriage. Or, I forgot that the overarching lessons in marriage don’t always apply to the day to day.
And so we learn.
We grow.
We communicate.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes! Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re just sort of quiet.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not used to being around someone allllll.the.time. I’m great. Truly.” “Okay. Just wanted to check.”
And then we move on.
We laugh a lot. We roll our eyes a lot.
But mostly we’re just thankful.
Even if no one really warned us.
Each day we get to wake up and choose to love each other, bad breath and all.
Each day we get to decide how and if we’ll serve the other.
Each day we get to choose our words carefully.
Each day we get to put action to our desire to be an example of the Gospel in this world.
Once again, I’m thankful that the Lord is strong when we are weak.
Once again, I’m thankful that He is sufficient.
And I’m thankful that both of us need Him first and foremost, before we can ever lean on each other.