A year ago I was groomed, pampered, calm… ready.
I had just finished racing go-karts, trying my hand at the batting cages, and having the finishing touches of my wedding-face applied. White dress (with pockets!), red heels, champagne sash, five billion bobby pins and glossy lips… ready.
Today I’m a little pudgier, my nails are atrocious, my eyebrows are wacky… but I’m content.
I have just finished attending church, eating 10,000 calories of Mexican food, walking for an hour to try to compensate, and getting ready to spend an evening at backyard (where we were wed) bonfire with friends and family. T-shirt, bare feet, chapped lips, white little Zeus hairs all over my clothes… content.
A year ago I was inviting family and friends to my parent’s yard to witness a life-long commitment being made. Today I’m sitting on the couch in my parent’s house making sure our giant dog doesn’t destroy it, football streaming on the television, my dad picking apples outside, my mom cooking food, my husband on a coach– one eye on the tv and the other on his phone.
A year ago I was preparing for one for the biggest life-changes I’ll ever know.
Today life is pretty normal, but I’m still wondering when and what the next life-change will be (knowing that life is full of the unpredictable).
One year ago.
We’ve been reminiscing a lot this week. It helps that we’re back in the same place where our wedding went down. It helps that there are wedding remains all over: Aspen candle holders, giant logs, CAKE (which we’re excited to finally try, regardless of the commentary that cake a year later is disgusting).
It helps that it was all just one year ago.
We have survived.
And marriage is still awesome. You might even say that it’s been a piece of cake.
We’re less patient, less romantic, less careful with our words, less concerned about appearances and privacy. But we laugh a lot, dream a lot, talk a lot, sing a lot (I think I’m rubbing off on him).
We aren’t perfect, but it’s okay.
We could be kinder, more loving, more selfless, more aware, more Christ-centered, more prayerful.
But I don’t know if I could be more thankful.
Because one year ago, I stood before the Lord and a host of witnesses and was tied forever to a man who exceeded my wildest dreams. I’m still not sure how it happened. We were in a church worship service a week ago, music playing, people singing… and I thought to myself all over again, how did I get here? How is it possible that the Lord is so good and so faithful when I’m just not. I’m still in awe.
I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve learned a lot in the waiting, in the stillness, in the unknown. To trust. To live. To open up my mind to even the most unlikely things (long-haired younger men with sea turtle tattoos, in this instance), and to see what the Lord does with it. I think He’s continuing to reinforce those things into my heart.
Trust.
Live.
Be open-minded.
You never know what I have in store for you.
They’re necessary life lessons.
Can I continue to allow Him to surprise me? To allure me?
Can I respond to the bouts of waiting with grace and joy? Can I respond to the unknown with steadfast faithfulness?
Can I believe that He is good, no matter what?
Can I believe that He has a bigger plan in mind?
I think our anniversary will always serve as a reminder of the Lord’s faithfulness.
The Lord’s faithfulness–even when it means waiting a long time, even when I feel like I want to give up and that there’s no more hope to be had. The Lord knows. His timing is perfect. His plan is perfect.
And it’s always been about much more than Debbie finally finding love.
To me, it’s been a journey of finding out more about who Jesus is and what He has done… and what He continues to do. It’s truly life-changing.
How can I not love Him more?