I feel like the last decade has been a series of tiny, timid steps. It’s perhaps a luxury I will no longer be afforded.
In a constant quest for purpose, a searching to know more about who God is and who He wants me to be, I’ve been forced to look beyond the walls of what I’d always known. I’ve been blessed by the opportunity to study Scripture and grateful for the space to re-prioritize how my time is spent. Some of that was chosen, some of it was not. But all of it, I believe, was God-ordained.
And what I found on this quest was surprising.
More questions than answers. What I thought I knew, upended.
A strong, steady pulse of Love revealed consistently throughout Scripture.
It’s undeniably present, woven intricately throughout the pages. When I sat down to study and know God, what I found catapulted me into a new existence… it stirred within me new passion.
Tiny, timid steps were taken toward foster care. All of our lives, radically transformed. An application on a website now translated into a chatty five-year-old who is fiery, brilliant, and asks questions like, “How did God make himself?” She reminds us, every day, of God’s love for us. Of how we, too, have been grafted in – adopted as sons and daughters. Co-heirs with Christ.
We continued to dive deeper into the quest to know God. To know His heart, to reflect his image to the world. We ask questions about how we spend our time, our money — about the things that steal our attention. We imperfectly process, imperfectly work to realign, imperfectly adjust expectations for our lives.
If life is meant to be lived for him, if we are meant to be a reflection of him… then we must continue to look different. More time spent with him — because we look like who we spend time with. We talk like them, walk like them, think like them.
I wanted (still want) to look more like Jesus. Tiny, timid steps toward him were (are) necessary.
The steps took us to new business opportunities, new jobs. Places that put us directly in the pathway of the people Jesus calls us to. The people God’s heart beats for — the poor, the orphan, the widow, the foreigner. Less me. More him… more them.
We’re watching a world that’s growing in division. Instead of being peacemakers, we’re content with hurling insults. Instead of longing for unity (and learning to celebrate our differences), we rejoice in another’s defeat. Instead of viewing other humans with dignity and honor, we demean.
Instead of moving toward each other in love, we’re attacking with hate.
It’s everything contrary to what I’ve discovered on the quest to know God… everything contrary to the Love who died for us while we were still his enemies. Sacrificial humility, becoming less so others can be more.
I’m praying for miracles of repentance, miracles of changed hearts. But, I’ll also settle for tiny, timid steps toward God and toward each other. And sometimes, I’ll admit, tiny steps feel like huge steps at the time. And, perhaps, they are miracles after all.
Tiny, timid steps that invite conversations with those who we’ve been hurt by or those we’ve hurt. Tiny, timid steps towards standing up for the injustices we see and experience. Tiny, timid steps toward making God’s kingdom come, here on earth. Tiny, timid steps toward knowing, more fully, who God is and what he is calling you to do/be.
But, they are steps toward something good. Steps toward right… steps toward love.
We will most likely do it imperfectly, but we have to be people who, together, move toward Jesus and move toward others — even our “enemies”.
This is the countercultural demand on believers for all time. We will look different because of how we love.